i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
