Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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