Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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