that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
