GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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