I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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