Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
