There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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