What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
