I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
