That's intense
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
