Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
