That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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