They should really pass out barf bags in church
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
