i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
