no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
