We should be called the Road Head Warriors
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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