Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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