She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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