dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
