the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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