Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize