Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
