Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
