I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
