I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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