dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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