I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
