I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
