He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
