i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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