Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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