so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This baby is an asshole
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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