why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
