They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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