Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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