a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
