did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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