Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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