Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They are going to name an STD after you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
