Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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