I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
