Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
