Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
