Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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