do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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