I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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