As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
