Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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