i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
