No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
