Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
