and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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