Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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