I want to walk on stilts...naked
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
