Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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