I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize