i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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