we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
