okay pat passed out under dana's car
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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