More tranny stories later!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
